Contentment and Joy in Him

My latest struggle:  contentment


Why is it so hard to be content?  Just this morning I heard myself say, "If only I would get over this cough!" (had it 1 1/2 months)  I mean, after all, we came to Ireland with the grand hope of helping people, but how can I when I often feel sick?  Or, "Is it raining again?!."  Or, "I can't homeschool with so many distractions."

As I reread what I just wrote, I notice a lot of "I's".   I want this, I want that.  Maybe that's the real underlying issue here.

 I've said before, "I felt the Lord lead us here," and I still do, but maybe that's where I parted with following the Lord.  Once I got here, it became, "all about me."  My comforts.  My desires.  I know that is true because so many times I've reminded myself (or was it the Lord?)  that "Lori, it's not about YOU" whenever something doesn't 'feel' right.  And to be honest, there's a lot that doesn't feel right in a new culture...even in a country like Ireland.

How do I keep the mindset, "It's all about God, and His will?"  I'm really working on this one and don't have it all figured out.

One thing I'm trying to do is simply accept life as it is.  I try to remember this world is not our home.  At all.  If God allows me to be sick, He has allowed it for a reason.  If God allowed my precious son, Seth, to go to Heaven, it was for a reason.  If God wants it to rain everyday in Ireland, it's for a reason.  It's not about me.  It's ALL about Him.  He's not trying to be mean- he's trying to draw me closer to Him. 

So what am I going to do about this reality?  Grumble.  That's the easy, natural thing to do.  But, besides the fact that God tells us not to, people tend to 'tune' us out when we focus on our hardships.  It might make us feel better for a few seconds, but it doesn't accomplish anything anyway. 

This is what I think will help me:

Being thankful.  Purpose in my heart to give the grumble disease an antidote of thankfullness.  "A cheerful heart is good medicine," I believe it says in Proverbs. 

And if you 'really' think about each thing you have to grumble about, is it really worth your grumbling energy? 

My sickness- others have it worse, usually.  At least I have a breathing treatment/respirator machine.  Wolf said many people need their machine up to 6 times a day!!  I need it only once- at most.

Losing Seth- it could be worse, as hard as it is to write that!  But, if Seth wasn't a christian and died, it would be worse!  At least I have great hope of seeing him again!!

Rain- coming from Kansas, I would be a fool to complain about plenty of rain.

So, God forgive me and help me to stop thinking of me, but to see you and the brightness of your Glory so vividly that wordly cares cannot even be imagined.