I love my family!

Yesterday was a wonderful, glorious day!  I spent the whole day…talking, laughing, and simply enjoying my family.  We were together the whole day- no outside obligations, just us.  It was splendid! Do you know what I'm talking about?

This might seem like a boring post, so you're forewarned, but that's ok, here goes anyway…

The 6 workgroup men currently living with us had to get an early start to their 'touring Ireland' day.  So,  at 6 am (on a Saturday) Wolf and I awoke to prepare them breakfast.  Getting up at 6am on a Saturday wasn't exactly the 'glorious' part, but it had its place in setting the day in motion.

Once the guys were on their way, I had a luxurious quiet morning ahead of me and decided to quickly write a blog.  Lately I've been creating picture posts with captions, but nothing more extensive.  Once the children are up, I can barely concentrate on writing.  So, this was my chance.  My blog "Mission Accomplished!" was the result. :)

Before I finished, the children woke up and eventually came in the living room where I was.  Next thing I know, Anna is wondering if she can make me a coffee.  That sounded wonderful!  And it tasted even better!!  At that point, I was starting to feel very happy and very loved.  I was finishing a satisfying blog, surrounded by my children (who were each reading quietly), sipping a perfectly made cup of coffee, in a warm room, with rain gently falling outside.   It was lovely!

Once I was done writing, my children and I had an enjoyable talk.  I shared many childhood memories with them, and my schooling experiences in particular.  They always like those!  I also discussed our future (return to KS) plans with them.  One of our goals is to fix up our KS property, and get it in better shape.  Then Wolf has dreams of writing and publishing books.  We'd also like to work on our Nova Scotia property this fall.  It's basically forestland with a nice lake in the middle.  Clearing trails would be the first step.

We talked for a long time on these matters and it felt good!  It felt good partly because my children were all around me and I 'loved' that, and also because it felt good to have a dream for the future.  After we lost Seth, dreaming became very hard.  The future even seemed pointless.  We knew we had to survive for the sake of our other children, but to survive and thrive seemed too exhausting.  So, discussing future ideas with the children felt almost good.  Almost healing.  Almost.

Next thing I know, Wolf (who was sleeping due to extreme jet lag) walks in the room and joins us.  Then we talk a whole bunch more about….everything and nothing at the same time.  I loved it.  We were altogether.  Ezra was there, too.  It was lightly raining outside all morning, but it didn't matter, we were warm and cozy inside, thoroughly enjoying eachother's company.  I remember wondering at one point if heaven will be a 'touch' like this.

We scraped together a few leftovers and had lunch.  Simple.

Then, Wolf mentioned it might be good if I give Ma (his mom) a call.  I said I would really like to, and that it had been on my mind to do that very thing earlier in the day.  It was just that 'sense' that I needed to see how she was doing.  As soon as I asked her how she was doing, she immediately said, "Not good."  I was very concerned since that is not like her to complain.  For privacy I won't go into details, but I felt the Lord put her on our hearts and minds that very day and I soon learned why.  The issue was something that we could help out with, and she felt better, and so did we.  I loved how the Lord had clearly put her on our hearts. Thank you Lord!!  Thank you for your guiding Spirit and for wisdom.

Then supper.  Forgot what we had, but remember we had more great conversations.  I'm just so glad we enjoy eachother.

What a happy day!

Contentment and Joy in Him

My latest struggle:  contentment


Why is it so hard to be content?  Just this morning I heard myself say, "If only I would get over this cough!" (had it 1 1/2 months)  I mean, after all, we came to Ireland with the grand hope of helping people, but how can I when I often feel sick?  Or, "Is it raining again?!."  Or, "I can't homeschool with so many distractions."

As I reread what I just wrote, I notice a lot of "I's".   I want this, I want that.  Maybe that's the real underlying issue here.

 I've said before, "I felt the Lord lead us here," and I still do, but maybe that's where I parted with following the Lord.  Once I got here, it became, "all about me."  My comforts.  My desires.  I know that is true because so many times I've reminded myself (or was it the Lord?)  that "Lori, it's not about YOU" whenever something doesn't 'feel' right.  And to be honest, there's a lot that doesn't feel right in a new culture...even in a country like Ireland.

How do I keep the mindset, "It's all about God, and His will?"  I'm really working on this one and don't have it all figured out.

One thing I'm trying to do is simply accept life as it is.  I try to remember this world is not our home.  At all.  If God allows me to be sick, He has allowed it for a reason.  If God allowed my precious son, Seth, to go to Heaven, it was for a reason.  If God wants it to rain everyday in Ireland, it's for a reason.  It's not about me.  It's ALL about Him.  He's not trying to be mean- he's trying to draw me closer to Him. 

So what am I going to do about this reality?  Grumble.  That's the easy, natural thing to do.  But, besides the fact that God tells us not to, people tend to 'tune' us out when we focus on our hardships.  It might make us feel better for a few seconds, but it doesn't accomplish anything anyway. 

This is what I think will help me:

Being thankful.  Purpose in my heart to give the grumble disease an antidote of thankfullness.  "A cheerful heart is good medicine," I believe it says in Proverbs. 

And if you 'really' think about each thing you have to grumble about, is it really worth your grumbling energy? 

My sickness- others have it worse, usually.  At least I have a breathing treatment/respirator machine.  Wolf said many people need their machine up to 6 times a day!!  I need it only once- at most.

Losing Seth- it could be worse, as hard as it is to write that!  But, if Seth wasn't a christian and died, it would be worse!  At least I have great hope of seeing him again!!

Rain- coming from Kansas, I would be a fool to complain about plenty of rain.

So, God forgive me and help me to stop thinking of me, but to see you and the brightness of your Glory so vividly that wordly cares cannot even be imagined.